The murder of Dr. Joy is still an unsolved mystery. Not that the police tried very hard. There’s so much hostility out there about lesbian sex. Thank goodness the LGBTQIA+ movement is turning this cesspool of ignorance within policing institutions into a thing of the past.
Dr. Joy was already dead when the shark attacked her.
The good news is that this particular shark had already had a hearty meal, a family of four who were kayaking on the other side of the island. It nibbled with a complete lack of enthusiasm on Joy’s right foot, then swam away.
Thus Dr. Joy was miraculously rescued from ending up a sea snack. Most importantly her brilliant head was intact! Many said she never looked better for the two days of her open-casket farewell to adoring fans and loving friends at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Hollywood Hills, California.
There were rumors that Dr. Joy was cremated and her ashes auctioned, with the proceeds going to charity.
Not true. That was a total scam by seven Scientologists working at a telemarketing boiler room in San Clemente, California, low life who were peddling vacation packages to Dachau World in southern Germany. The “ashes of the great Dr. Joy” sent to gullible buyers in a tiny cosmetics vial often turned out to be laced with barbecue sauce.
Dr. Joy is now safely residing in Clinton Township, Michigan at the Cryonics Institute. She is kept at -270º F (-168º C) until further notice.
The plan was to revive her at some future date when new, sophisticated technology might be able to safely “raise her from the dead” and restore her to her former incredible self. There was no way to know when this might happen.
However, Elon Musk has intervened and offered to attempt to install his AI human-computer interface in her frozen cranium, then gradually warm up her head until her brain is functioning normally.
What excitement! Dr. Joy fans from around the world are heralding this “second coming” as the most important event in human history.
