I’m just like you.
So I reacted probably the way you would react the first time I met a mermaid.
Am I dreaming?
Have I lost my mind?
Is this a joke? Where are the hidden cameras?
Maybe it’s a mermaid love doll robot or a hologram of some sort?
What’s the date today? Is it Halloween?
Then, after I realized it was actually happening, calmed down a bit, accepted it, the initial shock gave way to curiosity, then amusement, finally sheer awe!
How many people can say they’ve met a real mermaid?
That first day and the novelty of those first few initial encounters certainly overwhelmed me. But as this book makes evident, those days are long gone. Of course, I am still immersed in wonder. But I don’t wonder about it anymore. As luck would have it, it just happened.
Life is full of surprises, eh?
While I still recognize how unique the experience is, how privileged I am to count quite a number of mermaids — twenty-three in all — maybe not as close friends, but as highly memorable acquaintances, the whole idea is now nestled in a comfort zone, as are my personal feelings about the mermaids themselves. Yes, it’s incredibly rare and unusual and special to spend time with these lovely creatures. But now it’s more like meeting someone from Tonga or Outer Mongolia. How many people do you now know from either of these remote places? Still, if you met someone, you wouldn’t faint or rule it out as impossible, nor would you think that you were losing your mind. At the same time, you’d recognize the novelty, and probably treasure the experience as unique and unforgettable.
When I share my mermaid encounters with people conversationally, I’m hardly surprised, but I still get rather annoyed, with how fixated most of them are on truly mundane questions.
Can they talk?
Do they speak English?
How do they go to the bathroom?
Do they have sex?
Do they smell like fish?
Are they on Facebook?
How do they get around?
Do they have gills?
Yes, they talk.
I haven’t watched any of them go to the bathroom any more than I would ask you or that person from Tonga to let me watch. Do these people think I’m a pervert?
And whether I’m a pervert or not, I did not have sex with these ladies of the sea. Nor did I ask them about their sex lives. Maybe I’m strange but that seems rather rude, especially since typically I only spent a few hours with each one. If someone arrived on your doorstep from the desert in Namibia, would you immediately ask them how they copulate?
Do they smell like fish? I don’t know. Some people smell like hot dogs. Others smell like cigarettes. Still others smell like shoe polish. Okay, I’ll answer that. Mermaids do not smell like fish, unless they have a fish strapped to their necks. Actually, all of them give off an almost undefinable scent, something like a fresh spring breeze from high above on a cliff, overlooking the sea, with wispy white cirrus clouds painting the sky. It’s very captivating to say the least. If I could bottle it, I’d make a fortune. Trust me. It’s nothing like a can of tuna fish or microwaving past-their-expiration-date fish sticks.
Facebook? No, they’re on Flipperbook. Jeeeeeeez!!
The question of how they get around is particularly lame. Hasn’t anyone watched the Para Olympics? How do they get around? Considering many of the athletes have no functioning legs, they seem to do just fine, eh?
Granted, mermaids can’t dance. That’s why you don’t see them at raves or night clubs. Or as members of the American Ballet Theater.
Clearly they have to perform some activities differently. But they either do things close to the floor, or they prop themselves up, leaning against or half-sitting on a stool.
Are the above questions seriously what fascinates people the most?
Think about it. These ladies are human but a different species. They live under water! They experience the world entirely differently than you and I. Their culture and history are completely unfamiliar to us. Their relationships are totally different. I don’t know if there are mermen or merdudes around. No one seems to know how mermaids reproduce or how long they live. Maybe they live forever.
Understandably, I am curious about so many of these things.
And if I find out the answers, I’ll get back to you. I promise.
For now, I will just share what happened in my brief encounters.
And most importantly, I will give you the answer to …
What do mermaids eat?
